Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
