is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
