I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
