Christians are straight up FREAKS
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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