At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
