yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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