My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
