No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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