ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
