Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
