I skipped work to stalk him.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize