The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
