i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize