In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
