You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
