my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
