im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
