Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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