real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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