I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
