I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
