Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
