that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
