You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
