i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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