He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
