some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
