I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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