So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
