i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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