The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize