i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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