She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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