u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
