Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize