You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
