Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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