I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
