How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
