Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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