I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
