gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
