I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize