Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just google imaged poop.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
