I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
