I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
