We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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