Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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