Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
