Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
