I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
