he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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