Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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