I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
