North Korea, Best Korea!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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