Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
