Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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