they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
