so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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