How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Someone signed my nipple.
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