fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
