I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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