did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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