you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
