and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
